Ah, Monday mornings—the archnemesis of cozy blankets everywhere! Fear not, weary warrior, for I shall arm you with the punishment and questionable wisdom you need to survive!
Rise and whine! Start your day by loudly complaining about gravity—it’s the only force pulling you down (besides your boss’s emails).
Brew-tea-ful beginnings: Replace coffee with tea made from your tears. It’s already salted, and the caffeine is in your despair!
Eggs-tra motivation: Stare at an egg and whisper, "You could’ve been a chicken, but here we are—both useless before 9 AM."
Snooze-lose situation: Set 17 alarms, each with a punny name like "Rise & Shine (or at least rise)" or "You’re late (but so is your will to live)."
Pant-astic fashion: Wear pajama pants under work pants. If anyone notices, gasp and say, "You can see my formal layers?!"
Traffic-jam session: Stuck in gridlock? Roll down the window and yell, "Honk if you also misinterpreted ‘living the dream’!"
Meeting-greeting: Walk into your first meeting and announce, "I’m here to meat expectations—because I’m barely vegetating!" (Then slowly back out of the room.)
Desk-etarian diet: Breakfast is whatever snacks are within arm’s reach. A stale granola bar? Crunch time! A rogue gummy bear? Bear-ly surviving!
Ctrl-Z your life: Pretend you’re a computer and "accidentally" undo Monday. (Results not guaranteed, but denial is a river in de-Nile.)
Weekend dreams: Stare at a calendar and whisper, "Friday, I’m weak for you…" until HR calls.
Remember, Monday is just a pun-ishment for enjoying the weekend too much. Stay strong, stay silly, and for the love of coffee, don’t make eye contact before 10 AM!
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